Jujitsu for Kids
Posted by: Chuck on: July 30, 2010
I’ve always valued physical as well as mental exercise, but Scarlet and Connor refuse to play sports (they just won’t), so getting them to try martial arts was my next step–simpler said than done. I hope this helps others trying to get their children into martial arts/jujitsu.
Why Jujitsu?
There are other popular martial arts like taekwondo that are more mature in terms of childrens’ programs. I chose jujitsu because it’s more practical. Other martial arts teach techniques that would never work in real fights. Jujitsu, however, enables you to defeat opponents who may be larger or faster than you. If you have watched any MMA or UFC fights, you’ll know that jujitsu is very popular now. The Gracie family from Brazil helped popularize it by defeating other martial arts experts.
A Good Reputation Doesn’t Mean Good for Kids
Jujitsu, being newer in popularity, doesn’t have as many choices for children. Being an avid UFC fan, I first tried my local Gracie academy. At first, Scarlet and Connor seemed to like the class. I was so proud when they came home and showed me all the moves they learned. Being put in an arm bar by my son was one of the proudest moments…well, it was cool 
But I thought, isn’t that advanced for the first day? Then their complaints started. “It’s boring.” “The gi is too itchy.” “The boys were rough.” They both decided they didn’t want to do it again.
I realized good for adults doesn’t mean good for kids. The Gracie program was not tailored for children. The instructors would simply teach a few techniques per class and most of the class was spent practicing those techniques.
Martial Arts is Essential Knowledge
My wife, Erika, and I have consistently said that we want our children to learn some fundamentals for life:
- How to play a musical instrument. Scarlet chose piano and Connor chose drums.
- How to swim. Done.
- How to ride a bike. Done.
- How to do one winter sport. They both chose snowboarding.
As good Montessori parents, we let Scarlet and Connor make their own choices about how and when to do those things, and luckily we never had to push hard.
At first, I approached martial arts in this way. When they said they no longer wanted to do jujitsu, I was disappointed but decided to let them make that choice.
But something made me not give up. I started to research the jujitsu academies near us, and one stood out above all others. After calling and talking to the owner, I realized that I should consider martial arts essential knowledge just like school or swimming. Not only is it good physical activity, but it is knowledge they will be forced to use one day. At some point in each of our lives, we have or will be faced with physical violence. I want my children prepared for that day.
I decided then that I would make Scarlet and Connor do martial arts, if only long enough to have basic proficiency. This was the first time I had forced them to do any class. They weren’t happy about it and neither was Erika. I found myself pushing all of them to do this, but I knew it was important enough not to give up.
Finding a Good Children’s Jujitsu Program
So I made Scarlet and Connor go to the jujitsu class I had found. To say they were unhappy is an understatement. But as the class started, I could see them smiling as they went through the exercises. It was clear the exercises were geared towards kids to teach basic techniques of athleticism and how to fall. The professor (instructor) was great with kids. And to top it off, the academy had a Montessori-like method of asking higher belted children to teach younger children. Scarlet could see there were other girls just like her there too.
The academy’s success could be seen in its students. The kids there were super nice, confident and disciplined. The academy is nationally ranked and consistently wins state championships in judo and jujitsu.
A Happy Ending
At the end of the class both Scarlet and Connor said they wanted to continue. They were excited to be fitted with new gi’s. The next morning Connor said out of the blue that he really liked the professor. They can’t wait for their next class.
The moral of this story is that the program and philosophy make all the difference for kids. Take the time to find an academy that customizes their program just for kids, and who shows its success through its students.
On Hiatus
Posted by: Chuck on: May 2, 2010
It’s scary how you get busy, decide to take a short break from blogging, and suddenly 6mths have gone by since you posted anything. I’m still busy–started a new job while still focusing on family–but I’ll try to write more. I watched “Julia & Julia” recently…don’t know how people can write every day for over a year.
Help Me Support the Children’s Miracle Network
Posted by: Chuck on: November 11, 2009
Hi all,
For this holiday season, I wanted to do my little part by helping support a charity that helps children. So I’ve put a Children’s Miracle Network donation widget in the right column of this blog. It’s actually FREE. All you do is fill out the CoffeeMate questionaire. Please join me in making a difference this holiday season. Thank you!
Redshirting and the Matthew Effect
Posted by: Chuck on: November 7, 2009
One recent day, Erika jumped up from reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell saying we should have held back Connor from first grade, quoting something from the Bible, and going on about how he will not be able to make up the disadvantage. Had we irrevocably injured Connor’s chances of success by sending him to first grade too soon?
What is Redshirting?
Redshirt comes from collegiate sports and means a student who postpones playing on a team for a year. When referring to children, it means holding a kindergarten or first grade-eligible child back one year so the child can mature.
Why do parents redshirt a child? There are two main reasons. The first reason is for a child who hasn’t matured enough academically, physically and/or socially to enter kindergarten or first grade.
Redshirting as a Performance Enhancer for Kids
The second and more common reason for redshirting these days, is for parents using it as a performance enhancer. By holding a child back, parents reason that next year, the child will be one of the older kids in the class, will then perform better, and will also develop more confidence. This rationale is used more on boys though I myself do not understand why it’s more applicable to boys than girls (I understand girls mature faster but if you believe this to be a performance enhancer why not do it for girls too).
What is the Matthew Effect?
The Matthew Effect is a sociological term first coined in the 1960s but made popular in 2008 by Malcolm Gladwell who devotes Chapter 1 of Outliers to it. It refers to the phenomenon where success breeds more success while failure breeds more failure. In other words, those who are more successful acquire more attention, resources, etc. to become even more successful. The Matthew Effect is named after a New Testament Bible verse that basically says the same thing but in more eloquent Bible-speak (I won’t quote it since everybody else quotes it).
Prior to the publication of Outliers, a New York Times best-seller, redshirting was more of an urban myth. Many online discussions predating Outliers are arguments back and forth about whether it really helps or not. There’s even frequent mention of a June, 2008 research paper titled “The Lengthening of Childhood” that links redshirting to “stagnation in the high school and college completion rates of young people”. It’s easy to see, however, that this study focuses more on the first reason for redshirting, i.e. when kids really need to be held back, and can explain why there’s a correlation between redshirting and higher dropout rates.
By popularizing the Matthew Effect, Malcolm Gladwell has given redshirting legitimacy as a performance enhancer since it provides a theoretical basis for the practice. In the book, Gladwell provides convincing evidence of the Matthew Effect at work in the Canadian junior hockey league. BUT he simply applies the effects to schooling without any specific proof that the Matthew Effect is at work in schools.
I’m not saying he’s wrong, but there are clear differences between sports where playing time is very limited and the goal is winning, and education where children spend much of a day and the goal is mastery.
What About Connor?
In California, the age cutoff is in December and Connor’s birthday falls just before that. We decided to send him to first grade even though he would be one of the youngest in his class because he was academically ready and we didn’t want him to be bored. He was already ahead in reading and math at the beginning of first grade. But mostly, it was because I myself was always the youngest in my class and I turned out pretty well, I think Still, it was a hard decision. Though he was academically ready, he was physically the smallest in his class. Socially, he was ok but shy and a follower compared to the rest of his class.
Could he do better if we had redshirted him? Would he be GATE-qualified? Would he be more confident and more of a leader?
More Research Needed
This is such an important topic, I hope someone reading this will be motivated to conduct scientific research on whether redshirting really is a performance enhancer for children who don’t need to be redshirted. So far, I have not found any existing research about this topic. I wish I could recommend to parents one way or another, but lacking any firm evidence, redshirting still must be a judgment call. Good luck with your decision.
What is Singapore Math?
Posted by: Chuck on: October 28, 2009
Scarlet, now in 3rd grade, has been struggling recently with some lessons, and that’s what started me thinking about how math is taught and if there’s a better way that can help her excel at math. After some research, I learned there are several different math curricula, and that some are better than others.
Our Local Public School Curriculum
Scarlet’s schools uses a California-School-Board-approved book called California Math (published by Scott Foresman, 2001). What initially caught my attention about Scarlet’s math curriculum was that her textbook was teaching “mental math” strategies that I thought were rather complicated for her age. For example, here is a mental math strategy called “compensation” that goes like this:
- Problem: 125 + 98 = ?
- Steps:
- 125 + 100 = 225 (adding 2 to 98 makes 100 so it’s easier to add)
- 225 – 2 = 223 (subtract 2 to compensate for adding 2 above)
- Answer: 125 + 98 = 223
That’s actually not so bad. It gets more complicated when you use compensation in subtraction:
- Problem: 65 – 19 = ?
- Steps:
- 65 – 20 = 45 (adding 1 to 19 makes 20 so it’s easier to subtract)
- 45 + 1 = 46 (adding 1 compensates for subtracting 1 more than needed above)
- Answer: 65 – 19 = 46
I thought, wow, that’s a bit complicated for her age. I naturally do this in my head, but I’m also a grown-up with an engineering degree. Scarlet couldn’t figure out which number to compensate. For example, she would try to add 5 to 65 to make 70, or compensate on both numbers. Particularly hard is the subtraction case because she couldn’t understand why you must add the compensated number back versus subtracting it as in the addition case. As I tried to explain all these things to her, I realized I was explaining tricks that I had learned on my own and that the math textbook did not explain.
Was this the best way to teach math?
Different Math Curricula Available
A friend of mine forwarded this popular YouTube video titled “Math Education: An Inconvenient Truth” put together by a Seattle parent that gives a good comparison between several different math teaching methods:
- Standard algorithms that most parents know because that’s how we were taught
- TERC Investigations
- Everyday Math
I didn’t do in-depth research on each, but the examples in the video are quite convincingly against TERC and Everyday Math which are both “reform math” curricula that focus more on “mental math” strategies. Just a quick web search shows that there are lots of negative reviews of both methods.
Armed with this information, I immediately tried to see if our local public school that Scarlet attends used either of these methods. Unfortunately, I could find nothing identifying the specific math curriculum being used on any of the school, district, or county education sites. I even asked Scarlet’s teacher and she had no idea what it was called. She just said she teaches what the school board tells her to.
Singapore Math
What the video advocates at the end is a curriculum called Singapore Math, named after the country it comes from. Singapore Math is not new, but it’s getting more attention now, particularly because Singapore consistently tops the world in math scores. Singapore math focuses on the standard algorithms that we parents learned as children. I have now heard from several parents that this is best math curriculum today.
Interestingly, this article says that the California State Board of Education approved Singapore Math textbooks for use in the state back in 2007. Yet my local school has not heard of it at all. Next step for me is to ask the principal what’s up.
Who Should Get H1N1 Flu Vaccine?
Posted by: Chuck on: October 22, 2009
As a parent, my first thought about the H1N1 flu vaccine was should Scarlet and Conner get it. The answer seems to be yes.
Here’s a quote from the CDC on who should get the vaccine:
…pregnant women, people who live with or care for children younger than 6 months of age, healthcare and emergency medical services personnel, persons between the ages of 6 months and 24 years old, and people ages of 25 through 64 years of age who are at higher risk for 2009 H1N1 because of chronic health disorders or compromised immune systems.
It’s a bit buried but “persons between the ages of 6 months and 24 years old” means that Scarlet and Conner fall in that group and are recommended to get the H1N1 vaccine.
My next question was which vaccine should they get? There are two types: a shot and a nasal spray. From what I can find out, the shot is better because it is “inactivated”. It contains killed H1N1 virus so that you’re less likely to catch the flu from the vaccine itself. The shot does contain a preservative called thimerosal, a chemical some have suggested causes autism. Several studies have found no link between thimerosal and autism but I wanted to warn you that the concern is out there.
The nasal spray is better if, for example, you have a child who is terrified of needles. It also does not contain thimerosal if you want to avoid the whole autism link debate. The downside is that it contains some “live” H1N1 virus so you’re more likely to catch H1N1 from the vaccine. And there’s a bit of method involved. You need to breathe in as the nasal spray is fired. Some small children may not be able to follow those directions.
Next question is one shot or two? The CDC recommends children under 9 years old get 2 shots separated by a minimum of 21 days and ideally 4 weeks. Adults only need one shot.
Convinced? Now where and when do you get the shots? The when question is easier so I’ll start there. Flu season typically starts in November and goes through the following April so try to get flu vaccines by November. This, however, may be difficult since supplies of H1N1 flu vaccine are short. As of this writing, neither our local school or family pediatrician have received any H1N1 flu vaccine.
Remember that children also should get a regular flu vaccine as well. H1N1 isn’t the only flu virus going around. The CDC calls this the “seasonal flu vaccine”. Check with your doctor or local health department on where you can get the seasonal flu vaccine.
Final note: Is it H1N1 or Swine flu? The CDC says the correct name to use is H1N1. The explanation is better left to the CDC (read more at CDC):
This virus was originally referred to as “swine flu” because laboratory testing showed that many of the genes in this new virus were very similar to influenza viruses that normally occur in pigs (swine) in North America. But further study has shown that this new virus is very different from what normally circulates in North American pigs. It has two genes from flu viruses that normally circulate in pigs in Europe and Asia and bird (avian) genes and human genes. Scientists call this a “quadruple reassortant” virus.
I hope that helps the parents out there wondering the same things I am. Here’s hoping parents and children stay healthy this flu season.
Happy 7th Birthday, Connor!
Posted by: Chuck on: October 18, 2009
To Connor,
Just wanted to commemorate your birthday with a post. Actually your birthday was a few days ago with several celebrations along the way. First, I came home early from work to take you to buy your gift: the Ferrari truck from the Lego Racers collection (your uncle and aunt helped pay for it too since it was expensive). We took you to dinner the same night at the local spaghetti place you like though you didn’t want to go because you hadn’t finished building the truck yet. It would take you another day to finish. Second, we invited your three best friends to join us for “Where the Wild Things Are” and lunch. That was a lot of fun and it was great to see you with your friends. Third, we had family over for a big dinner and cake. And of course you got even more Legos. In all, you got 4 Lego sets and 2 Mega Blok sets. You loved each of them.
Thanks for being such a great kid. You’ve achieved so much more than when I was your age. I am so proud of you!
Does the Montessori Method Cause Cavities?
Posted by: Chuck on: September 17, 2009
Well, of course the Montessori method does not cause cavities. Not directly anyway
Erika and I are huge fans of the Montessori method. We sent both children to a Montessori preschool and even seriously considered keeping them there for elementary school (ultimately deciding against it due to cost not lack of desire).
Montessori fosters self-reliant, responsible and socially adept children. It focuses on letting children learn at their own pace and as a result of their natural interests and curiosity. A common thing I see parents do is help their children do things without giving them a chance to do it themselves. For example, a parent might pour some water for a child, fearing that the child might spill otherwise. Erika and I, in this situation, would let our children pour the water for themselves. Only by doing it themselves can they learn. If they should spill, then the worst that happens is puddle of water. The puddle itself can serve as an important lesson, first of consequences, and then of what to do should they spill anything. Now our children regularly pour themselves drinks and should they spill, they know how to clean it up. Of course, you can’t apply this to everything (for example things affecting safety or significant consequences) but doing so appropriately has led to Scarlet and Connor being quite self-reliant.
So what does this have to do with cavities? Well, we put our money where our mouth is so to speak by applying these principles to brushing teeth. Early on, we taught our children how to brush their teeth. We first let them brush their own teeth, then we quickly brushed their teeth again as a backup step. In this way, we thought we could get the best of both worlds. They could learn to do it themselves, and we would do it once more to prevent the significant consequence of getting cavities if their brushing wasn’t so good. Eventually, Scarlet seemed good enough that we stopped helping her completely.
Last week Scarlet got 2 cavities filled and Connor got 3 filled. Not a great showing. So this led to my thinking, “Did letting them brush their own teeth contribute to their getting so many cavities?” Both Erika and I have strong teeth–we haven’t gotten cavities in decades. The kids don’t eat much junk food or sweets. They also floss regularly and use a flouride rinse every night.
We did turn the cavities into a another lesson on consequences. “If you don’t brush well, then you’ll get cavities and having to get them filled is what happens next.” They didn’t like getting their cavities filled so that should motivate them to brush better from now on. I just wish they didn’t have to suffer so many “consequences”.
Maybe if we just did all the brushing from the beginning, then they wouldn’t have any cavities. But when would we stop and let them do it? By their teens I would hope. We’ll see how it all turns out when they grow up. Perhaps they’ll be super self-reliant and responsible adults…with bad teeth
Why Can’t My Kids Remember Stuff?
Posted by: Chuck on: September 13, 2009
My wife and I used to be very good about encouraging and nurturing our children. We followed the Montessori method and our children thrived. That seems to have changed in the last year or so as Scarlet turned 7 and Conner 5.
Lately, I’ve noticed that we’ve been yelling at them at more. We’re constantly saying to them in a scolding tone, “Did you wash your face?” “Did you do your homework?” “Did you put away your toys?”
Part of this, at least for me, is the sheer number of times I’ve had to say the same things over and over. Each day our children need to follow the same routines, and each day I have to repeat the same things over and over to remind them. Multiply that by 2 children and you realize you’ve probably said the same phrases 500-600 times already with seemingly no end in view. Even the most patient parents just get worn out after a while (that’s my excuse anyway).
As a parent, you start to think, why can’t they remember? Are they just not paying enough attention, do they simply not care, are they just being the s-word (stupid)? You start to think that you need to emphasize the importance of things more, i.e. if I yell then they’ll realize it’s important and will try to remember better next time…and so you start yelling.
Today, I yelled at Connor because he couldn’t think of how to play part of his drum practice. He had done it many times before, and he had just had a drum lesson yesterday where his teacher taught him an easier way. Yet he just sat there not knowing what to do. I was so frustrated…I yelled at him.
Part of me even thought yelling at him will toughen him up. “If he can’t handle my yelling, how is he going to handle the outside world where people can be really mean?”, I thought. Yet this is twisted logic. For all our yelling so far, I don’t think either child has learned to handle it better. Instead, they cry because they want to please us but they just can’t. They feel inferior. And they simply dread it more the next time they get yelled at.
In retrospect, I know Connor was trying. He was trying his best as I’ve always taught him. He was trying to be brave too as I have taught him. In the end, I think we’re simply expecting too much of them. Scartlet and Connor are both smart, mature children for their age. For me, I’ve taken it for granted that they understand and can do many things other kids may not be able to yet. I think both my wife and I need to understand that there are still things their little child minds can’t do as well as adults yet.
I started to search for articles on child development and memory. Most, however, were either high-level descriptions of developmental theories like Piaget’s or tips on how to improve a child’s memory. But I did find a few sources discussing how children’s memories are simply not as good as adult memories. Generally, children do not develop the full cognitive abilities of adults until around 15 years of age. So expecting them to remember and reason as you would is simply unreasonable. I think that’s why they just stare blankly back at us as we yell at them. They simply aren’t able yet to do the things we expect them to.
The greatest danger here is damaging their self-esteem. When you yell at a child, “Why can’t you remember?”, you are opening up the chance your child may think it’s because he/she is deficient in some way. And that’s way worse than having to remind them about the same things hundreds of times more.
Today, I resolve to never yell at them again for forgetting things.
Why ParentSays?
Posted by: Chuck on: September 9, 2009
I’m finally going to get off my butt and start blogging. Actually, I’m still on my butt, but you know what I mean.
The topic of my blog will be my family. Why? Because my family is one of the most important things to me. I envision my kids reading this one day and remembering our lives together as seen by me. Yeah, right. They probably won’t care.
Ultimately, it’s about me. I want to remember. Already I feel the memories of their infant and toddler years slipping away. One day, I want to read my own words and remember our lives together.
SocialVibe